Ford F250 King Ranch Review

by Robert Farago

Updated: May 1st, 2008

I'm not a cowboy, farmer or gardener. I don't build or repair things. I don't own a motorcycle, skimobile, ATV or boat. If I buy something too big to fit in my SUV, I have it delivered. In other words, I'm not a pickup truck kinda guy. But when my local paper's editor asked me— a writer who considers a triple digit sprint down a German autobahn a religious event— to review a truck, I went and got me a truck: Ford's F250 "King Ranch".

I chose it for the name. Texas' privately held King Ranch is larger than my home state of Rhode Island. And so is the King Ranch pickup truck. Obviously, this four-door Super Duty variant doesn't occupy 1300 square miles of real estate. It just looks that way. Parked on a driveway, its roof clearance lights glinting somewhere in the stratosphere, the King Ranch makes an average-sized American house look puny. It's the automotive equivalent of that endlessly annoying punch line, "Everything's bigger in Texas!"

Step onto the lighted cab step, hoist yourself aboard the blue collar behemoth and you'll find yourself sitting at least a head taller than any SUV driver save a Hummerista. In terms of billeting, the Crew Cab King Ranch outflanks GM's military fugitive by a decisive margin. The big Ford's cabin can comfortably carry five clinically obese passengers, with sufficient floor space for two days' fast food rations. As long as you don't mind exposing your luggage, groceries, pram, liquor cases, etc. to the elements, or shelling out a small fortune for a protective cargo liner and lid, you couldn't ask for more accommodating accommodation.

The King Ranch's captain's chairs and rear bench justify its thematic surcharge. They're swathed in pre-distressed brown saddle leather, complete with saddlebags behind the front chairs. The OTT style suits the big rig's demeanor like a Stetson on John Wayne. Whether or not you'd be happy paying an additional $2995 to create a link between your pickup truck and a horse is an entirely private matter.

Once you've got the checkbook out, you might want to pony-up another $5085 and stick a "Power Stroke" V8 turbo-diesel into the engine bay. I suppose that depends on how much you enjoy the sound of earth moving equipment at full chat. As a former British resident alien, I've driven some of the world's most refined diesels. This ain't one of them. Still, you can't argue with 560ft. lbs. of torque– at least not with that racket in your ears. The King Ranch's six-liter power plant may only stump up 325 horses, but it's enough grunt to propel the 6270lb truck (short wheel base, 4X4, unladen, no speedboat) to 60mph in about eight seconds.

Putting that power to work in an urban environment is not for the faint of heart or short of sight. Turning this beast at an intersection requires all the patience, nerve and skill of a seasoned bus driver. Parking is equally daunting. A long wheel base King Ranch stretches 21'8" from nose to tail. The legal length of an American parking spot is 20' to 22'. To leave the King Ranch in a parking lot, you have to swing wide and start turning (and turning and turning and turning) a good 40 yards before entering your space– and it still doesn't go in straight. When you're finally finished maneuvering, the back end sticks out a country mile.

Driving the King Ranch on an open road presents a fresh set of challenges. You have to keep a constant vigil on the fish-eyed lower section of the truck's gigantic side mirrors; you could hide a King Ranch in the King Ranch's blind spot. As for handling, let's just say that the pickup's leaf spring rear suspension dates back to the horse and buggy. I reckon anyone foolish enough to fling a King Ranch around a corner should have the federally-mandated pictogram of a truck driving on its two left wheels tattooed on their forehead. Luckily, the truck's four-wheel disc brakes can haul you back to safety long before you encounter anything as dangerous as a bend.

Lucky for you, and everyone else. Like all full-size pickups, the King Ranch's titanic mass and ladder frame construction put it at the top of the list marked "vehicles car drivers don't want to be hit by". Given the increasing popularity of full-size pickups in this country, their lethality and inherent tendency to roll over like a submissive puppy, the genre's exemption from US passenger car safety standards is absurd. Still, if you're an American cowboy fantasist with a lot of stuff who drives sensibly and laughs (laconically) in the face of danger, the King Ranch and its ilk are a practical, choice. Just one piece of advice: move to Texas.

Robert Farago

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Amwhalbi My 1972 Mercury Capri was my first stick shift car. God, I miss that thing. It was a blast to drive.
Vid169489471 The technology exists today to produce a variable color temperature (kelvin) LED lamp. It can vary from 2700k that soft orange look to 6500k the bright daylight with the bluish tint.Since everything in a late model car is computer controlled, it would be an easy task to write a few lines of code that enables your vehicle to not only dim down from hi to low beam but to shift color temp down to the 2700k range for oncoming traffic, then back up to 5000k once oncoming traffic has passed. For the operator it would be automatic and seamless. For older cars they could be retrofitted with LEDs that are 2700k on low beam and 5000k on hi beam. As far as standards, there could be a lumens max, and a minimum. Several States already have minimum lumen standards going back to the old incandescent bulbs. Why not update these to national standards.
Jam169859557 More regulation is needed for ALL vehicle lighting systems. [list=1][*]The lighting that is most blinding are the rapidly flashing red, blue and amber lights on emergency vehicles. The lights themselves are blinding, flashing so rapidly that it's impossible for even the sharpest eyes to adjust. What's worse, is the nature of the emergency requires a careful view of the area surrounding the emergency vehicle. There is something going on that needs to be seen. More flashing lights is not the solution.[/*][*]Brighter headlights need to be regulated. The tall riding vehicles do not need headlights positioned so high that they blind drivers in lower riding vehicles. And those heasdlights need to be aimed properly. When I first started driving my 2020 Subaru Outback, many drivers would flash their lights, hoping I would dim my lights. This stopped after I performed am easy adjustment that tilted the beam lower. Late model Subaru headlamps are designed with a sharp cutoff that project less glare above the hood line. When the headlights are properly aimed, other drivers are not blinded by the beam.[/*][*]Customized light assemblies make it more difficult to see the marker lights (tail lamps, turn signals and side marker lamps) that have been tinted. There are many municiple codes that prohibit this tinting, but these laws are seldom enforced.[/*][/list=1]Solutions: Tight controls on emergency vehicle lighting. In trying to make these vehicles more visible, a dangerous side effect is reducing the ability of drivers to see the surrounding perils.Headlight design regulations that reduce the height of the headlight assemblies. Just because a pickup truck has a hood that sits 4 feet abouve the pavement, it does not mean the headlights need to be so high. Owneres should maintain proper adjustments to their vehicle headlights.Establish and enforce regulation requiring a illumination standard be followed.
Stl170698708 as someone who hates big government, and their interference;but you can add me to the list of people that are blinded by the lights.unfortunately "the poop is out of the horse and no way is it going back in"They have had 5 years to make lights bigger, badder and brighter because in the vehicle work it is go big or go home!Trucks are the worst because so many people use them to express their dominance and that is big, big, big $$ both at the Original Purchase and in the Aftermarket world.If, we are so lucky to get some good government regulation on this it will also take some very good Court enforcement to get the aftermarket people with fines and lawsuits.Much like the EPA did with the Diesel Tuner Industry that felt emission regulations didn't apply to them.This is from someone that owns said pickup truck with the same bright headlights,but i only use the truck when I have too and always turn off the Fog lights when driving in traffic.
Art65765977 I saw a porsche 911 with the most amazing headlights from behind approaching the Sunshine skyway in Florida. The pattern was 108 degrees across sweeping the road like a broom. My brother and I were amazed. I don't know what it looked like from the front but i am sure it was better than American cars