Tales From the Beat Episode 130: Competitive Paranoia

If you’re old enough, like I am, you remember when, instead of making stuff up, we simply, um, borrowed, from places like the New York Times and Washington Post. At least that’s what we did quite often at CNN back in the day. So in episode 130 of Tales From the Beat, I turn the wayback machine to 1986 when a NY Times story caught the attention of a big boss at CNN, and I was ordered to match it and ask a question that received an honest answer that I couldn’t include in my piece. The ep includes that story, and a much younger me, host Ed Garsten.

TTAC Creator Ed Garsten hosts "  Tales from the Beat," a podcast about the automotive and media worlds. A veteran reporter and public relations operative, Garsten worked for CNN, The Associated Press, The Detroit News, Chrysler's PR department and Franco Public Relations. He is currently a senior contributor for Forbes.

The TTAC Creators Series tells stories and amplifies creators from all corners of the car world, including culture, dealerships, collections, modified builds and more.

A transcript, cleaned up via AI and edited by a staffer, is below.

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Transcript:

Competitive paranoia and how it’s escalated.

Hi everyone, I’m Ed Garsten, and welcome to episode 130 of Tales from the Beat, where we look at news and PR from both sides of the scrimmage line.

Have you checked your news feed lately? Ever wonder where some of that garbage comes from? I’ve got a few examples here. Psychology says if you bring up these nine topics in conversation, you have below-average social skills. Things like graphic health details. So, what—saying “I feel like crap today” is wrong now?

Here’s another one: “Rock icon, 66, calls out artists acting 25 at 65.” What? I don’t think that’s cool for the fans. It just says, “Okay.”

Or how about this one I just saw: a piece looking at the so-called bromance between George Clooney and Adam Sandler. Thanksgiving with the bros, right?

Let’s be honest. These days, anyone with a connected device and an agenda can cook up content and blast it onto the internet. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. This one crossed my feed just today: “Alex Bregman signs with the Seattle Mariners.” But when you click through, it’s just a local Seattle sports columnist wishing it into existence. In fact, at the end of the story it actually says, “This is a prediction, not a report.”

In other words, it’s kind of nonsense. But you know what? It still might come true.

It almost makes me nostalgic for the days when there were more actual newspapers and credible news organizations, and we all kind of cribbed from each other, to be honest. True story.

I worked at CNN during what many consider its heyday, the ’80s and ’90s. The network had bureaus all over the world and needed an enormous amount of content to fill 24 hours a day and serve affiliates. At the same time, CNN fought constant derision from the broadcast networks, who sneered that CNN stood for “Chicken Noodle Network.” We ran a lean operation—no flash. Our mantra was “the news is the star.” No highly paid blowhards.

That attitude also created a bit of an inferiority complex. The bosses looked at institutions like The New York Times and The Washington Post as the gold standard, and we were often tasked with matching or following their stories, whether or not they were suited for television.

So let’s turn the way-back machine to 1986. I was working as a correspondent at CNN’s Southeast Bureau in Atlanta, covering seven states. One day, a big boss reads a New York Times story about the Tennessee-Tombigbee Waterway, a major Army Corps of Engineers project designed to give ships access from the Gulf of Mexico to the Ohio and Tennessee River basins through Mobile, Alabama. It was also supposed to be a haven for water sports like fishing and water skiing.

The article alleged the Tenn-Tom was a failed pork-barrel project, largely unused and a total waste of taxpayer money. When the reporter visited, there wasn’t a single water skier. Not one.

The boss barely finished the article before calling the bureau and ordering me to go to the Tenn-Tom and grill the Army Corps. He specifically demanded I ask one question: “Why are there no water skiers on the Tenn-Tom?”

The next day, my crew and I went to Columbus, Mississippi, met with Army Corps officials, boarded a boat, cruised the waterway, gathered B-roll, and conducted interviews.

The problem was, it was December. Even in the Deep South, winter exists. It was cold, windy, rainy, and miserable. But the boss wanted a story.

As we were about to start the interview, I warned the Corps official about the question I was ordered to ask. The good ol’ Southern boy gave me a devilish look and asked if he could be totally honest. He warned me I might not be able to use his answer. I said fine—let’s do it.

We were layered up in rain gear, trench coats, teeth chattering. I figured let’s get this over with.

“Sir,” I asked, “why are there no water skiers out here on the Tenn-Tom today?”

He looked me in the eye, smiled, and said—while shivering—“Because it’s freezing cold out here.”

The soundbite I used on air was a little more family-friendly. But now I had to turn this turkey into an actual story, since CNN had spent the money and the boss expected something substantial.

Somehow I found a friendly, slightly tipsy boater who loved the Tenn-Tom, and a sympathetic Army Corps source tipped me off that the waterway was being used as a drug-smuggling route. Would’ve been nice to know earlier, but you put it together and—boom—there’s television.

The story ran.

Back when the barge Crescent first started pushing loads in 1940, the fastest route from Pittsburgh to the Gulf was down the Ohio, then the Mississippi. But thanks to a man-made shortcut known as the Tennessee-Tombigbee Waterway, that trip is now 300 miles shorter. It took 13 years and nearly $2 billion to complete the project.

Twenty-three months after opening, business was slow—only about a third of projected freight tonnage was moving through the waterway. The Corps blamed early completion and a slump in coal exports. Meanwhile, snowbirds were using the waterway to escape northern winters.

But law enforcement worried about something else: drugs and illegal weapons. Boats weren’t routinely screened, and agencies couldn’t search vessels without probable cause. One Texas boat was stopped carrying convicted criminals and automatic weapons.

It was rough sailing so far for the Tenn-Tom, and the government hoped its $2 billion ditch wouldn’t leave it high and dry.

The piece ended with my stand-up: “Ed Garsten, CNN, along the Tennessee-Tombigbee Waterway near Columbus, Mississippi.”

Years later, after the story aired, the boss asked why there were no shots of water skiers. Being the wiseass I was—and still am—I said, “Because it was freezing cold.”

I expected to get fired. Instead, he smiled and deadpanned, “December. I imagine it would be.”

That’s Tales from the Beat for now. I’m Ed Garsten. I’ll be back soon with more stories. Take care.